Really Scared
I'm really scared. I've already been downsized three times this year alone. Five times in the past four years. I love where I'm working now. I'm happy at what I'm doing. I feel like I've finally started an actual career instead of bouncing around hoping to make ends meet.
The company for which I work has its marine headquarters located in New Orleans and I'm scared that the ripple effect will cause cutbacks which will cost me my job again. I know that I'm lucky to have a roof over my head and so many other comforts and basics that thousands don't have right now. I know where my family is, I know they're all safe, I have food, water and although the gas prices have skyrocketed, I drive a fairly new, small, economical car. I'll take a hit, but I'm won't be desperate...as long as I keep my job.
This does not dimish how heartbroken I feel for the victims of Hurricane Katrina in any way.
I'm just really scared. I've been on unemployment for most of this year. I live in Houston and because so many thousands of people are out of work and won't be able to go back for months, I'm scared of the extra competition in the already tight job market.
I've been trying to save up some more funds because unemployment does not begin to cover the bills, but I've had some heavy car repair costs this past month on top of getting caught up from when I ran out of funds a couple of months ago.
I don't have enough saved up to count for any kind of savings. My insecurity is starting to show at work. I'm missing details, and although I don't say anything, I'm getting defensive and squirrly whenever my coworker points out my mistakes. I'm doing my best not to worry, but I can't help it.
I'm so scared I just want to cry all the time. My chest hurts. I'm having trouble sleeping. I don't want to eat or I want to eat everything.
I'm sorry if this sounds like a selfish entry, especially considering what so many thousands of people are going through right now. I'm just so scared.
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